Funny What's in a Name!

“What do you think of the name ‘Roger’?” one woman asks her friend as we wait for our morning train.
Okay, where’s this going? I think.
“A bit of an old man’s name now. But thirty, forty years ago it was popular.”
They appeared to be ladies in their early fifties and so, respectfully, should know.
“But what does it say to you? I mean, about a man called Roger?”
Ah, here we go, might be amusing!
“I don’t know,” says friend, “someone steady, not that exciting. Why?”
“I wouldn’t call my son ‘Roger’ now. Too old-fashioned, and” (this next bit is in a lower voice) “the name is a bit naughty!”
“What do you mean?” asks a now intrigued, wide-eyed friend.
“You know” answers the first woman. She looks around as if her next words are top secret, then proceeds to move her right arm and fist in a suggestive forward and back motion adding,
“’Rogering’!”
Her astonished friend is momentarily speechless, I think caused as much by the arm movement as the words.
“I beg your pardon?” she says finally with an uncertain laugh.
“You know” eyes moving fleetingly, “‘Rog-‘!”
“Er, yes, I get it!”
I smirk.
“No”, continues friend, “I wouldn’t call my son Roger now either, but not because of your…reason.” She looks again at her friend’s arm. “I just don’t like it. It reminds me of other dull names, like ‘Ian’, ‘Glen’, or ‘Darren’!”
“Why don’t you like Darren?” queries first woman.
“Eeeeaaagh!” A being sick sound. “Plain, no personality and not to be trusted!” Was that said with a hint of spite?
Maybe, but this is dull now!
“Do you know anyone called Darren?”
Boring!
“Yes, I do actually!”
“Who?”
Friend surveys again for ear-wiggers.
“My ex-lover!”
Bloody hell! What?
“What?” says first woman too loudly for comfort.
Friend says nothing, just stares at her companion with a look that says ‘Keep it down!’
First woman lowers her voice.
Sue*!...” She half says the word “How” but it doesn’t fully come out.
“When? Is he a work thi…who is he? Oh my god! I don’t believe it!” She is genuinely stunned. She looks out over the tracks into the distance, then down at the tracks, then back to Sue.
“You’re kidding! I mean, why, how long, who is he? Oh my god you must be kidding! You’re kidding, right?”
Sue straightens her back and looks directly into her friend's eyes. Her face changes to neutral. Friend stares back, searching, waiting.
“Cath”* a long pause, then slowly, “Yes, I, am!”
Sue can’t hold it in and bursts out laughing. It’s a roar, then a belly laugh bordering on tears. “Your face!” Sue can’t stop laughing. “Oh, my eyes.” She has tissue in her hand wiping their undersides. “That was so funny!” Rubbing it in now. Cath slaps her half playfully on the arm. Sue rubs the point of impact as the not so playful half has stung but she continues laughing. Cath cracks an uneasy smile but is clearly still processing what’s happened as the train approaches the platform.

The incident has truly brightened my morning. I feel myself smiling, inside and out. As the train stops, Sue and Cath walk down the platform to the next carriage. Sue is looking straight ahead. Cath is looking at Sue, smiling but still processing, waiting. They will no doubt carry on with a discussion about what’s just occurred. I get on the train the better for what I’ve just seen and very pleased that my name isn’t Roger, or Ian, Glen and especially Darren.


*Names changed for anonymity